My approach
“I am on a mission to change the way grieving children are viewed and cared for”
My approach to grief support for children, mattering-reinforcing care, is based on my research with children. I interviewed children aged 6 to 13 years about their experiences of care and support following the suicide of someone close to them. I found that children only experience behaviours intended to be care and support, as caring and supportive, when those behaviours reinforce to them that they matter. Children need to feel seen, heard and valued, in order to feel supported.
A mattering-reinforcing care approach supports children in a way that:
recognises each child as the expert in their grief and support needs
is based on a genuine connection
is activity-based, child-centric and at their pace
ensures the child feels safe, seen and heard
is responsive to each child’s unique and fluctuating support needs, so care is based on actual rather than assumed needs
allows the child to experience care as a partnership; as something done with them, rather than to them.
The mattering-reinforcing care approach has gone on to inform the development of programmes and the care provided, for adults and children globally, in a range of contexts.
Watch my TEDx talk “Mattering: Rethinking the Way Grieving Children Are Cared For and Supported”, to find out more:
“Shelley, I can't thank you enough for what you have done for [child's name] and [child's name]. I know they've enjoyed meeting with you each week and I can tell how much you've really helped them.”- Mother of 7 & 9 year old clients, following the death of their father
“Shelley radiated such a 'heart' for the subject matter. I came in with very little knowledge about supporting children and now feel equipped."- Teacher, workshop attendee
“I learnt so much. Shelley is an excellent facilitator - very professional, open and approachable. She made all of us feel as though we were important and that our experiences and stories were important”- Teacher, workshop attendee
“Brilliant. Please present to Government to help shape policy."- Teacher, workshop attendee
Working together
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